Wankers

I'm feeling a little... devil may care today. I may even buy something.
I may buy something so big it'll make your dick hurt. Maybe something old. Because that's how old things are made -- big. And dick-hurting.
Speaking of hurting dicks (how's that for a transition, journalism professors?), I don't understand chicks who stay with guys who can't get it up. I wouldn't date a girl who couldn't get it open. And yet... the limp dicks of this world do surprisingly well with the women.
Now me and my dong--we're Army strong(TM). Both of us are up at dawn and still going strong by lights out. Ok that's a lie. Only one of us is up at dawn, but it's the important one.
Guys who smoke the soft pack (and I'm not trying to be hard on them here), they've still got to prove their manhood some way. Usually it's big cars or scary movies or some other attempt to show how powerful they are.
But here's the deal -- just because you buy a power tool on your way out, doesn't mean that we didn't notice you shopping at the softer side of Sears.
Don't get me wrong -- I'm not personally pissed off at the lack of turgidity in the world here (more for me, right?) But, fellas, it ain't for for you to tie up a lady at the zenith of her sexiness while you limp along behind.
And, on a personal level, I'm really tired of hearing about the soft serve offerings from my female friends. Just because you can't fuck her, don't knock the rest of us for strong in the schlong.
Just sayin'

Peace Freaks